Thursday, October 23, 2014

Deeply Missing You

If I’m going to be honest...with another anniversary of the loss of Larsen, it’s hurting a lot.

I’m realizing that as the years go on, this isn't getting any easier. Each year reminds me of the permanence of her absence on this side of life. Each year puts her life more distant away from mine and I don’t like it.

I know there’s hope and everything for the future, but it’s still hard in the now. It’s hard when I wish she were here to give me parenting advice, or we could laugh about how she had the brown haired boy (her being blonde) and me having the blonde haired boy. She always joked when her son was born that I looked more like his mama by the hair color and dark eyes.

I have a box that I keep all of Lar’s notes and pictures in. She had given me a card with a picture of two elderly ladies sitting on a porch chatting about something probably inappropriate and random and inside it said “this is going to be us one day”. Oh how I wish it would be.

I told Rob and my sister the other day about this, about me having an especially hard time. And my sister said she hasn't heard me say much about it lately. So it made me think maybe after a while it can feel like it’s just easier to keep your feelings to yourself. To talk only about the hope of the future and not bring down the mood with the pain. Especially when you know so many are hurting deeply by it too.

I think I’m realizing that the processes of grief are an ongoing cycle because

the denial still creeps up

the anger still can be present

the sadness is near

and the longing is forever.

October she was taken from us by domestic violence, and October is also domestic violence awareness month. Rob and I are definitely more watchful for any signs of domestic violence in those we encounter. Continue to raise awareness. 

And if you pray, pray for Larsen’s dear son and family. For blessings and peace to flood their lives. They are truly a special family. And if you feel led to give, visit to donate to the growth and care of her amazing autistic son.

Love and miss you so stinking much, Lar.

For previous years posts about Lar and/or domestic violence, you can visit here, here and here. <3

Monday, October 20, 2014

Fall Family Photos 2014

So maybe this will be an annual tradition? Last year we made the trek all the way to our overgrown backyard to do some family photos with our pumpkins and tripod. This year we tried it again.

We started a thing where we put the smaller pumpkins on our heads and call each other "pumpkin head". This is Finn reenacting that while I did a test shot...oh that sweet face.

Then he did it on my head...

Then he ran away...

Our yearly fall kissing this man...

Oh and then Finn came back! This is Rob and I trying to get him to say "cheese" at the camera...

Then we had to bribe him to stay with daddy's phone. This is our "parents of the year" photo...

Of course bubbles were also present...

This last pic cracks us up...mainly because Rob says that he looks like a little boy with his knees positioned the way they are, lol.

Overall I'm happy to have more family pics with my two loves. Maybe one day we'll pay for some professional photos. Or at least someone to stand on the other side of the camera to help make the boy smile.

Hoping you all are well and enjoying the season. This is the time I ache to live up north to experience a real fall, but I'll just keep my cinnamon broom close and the AC turned down to make up for it.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Up Up Up

Recently Finn has found a well understood fascination with planes. When we're outside in the yard or driving around in the car, he'll spot one and point and say "yane!" It's pretty stinkin cute.

So randomly on Sunday night after dinner, I thought, let’s go to the airport. I love our airport, it’s so easy to get in and out of and the top of the parking garage is perfect for watching planes land and take off. So we skipped a much needed bath (seriously, food was caked in the boy’s hair) loaded up and drove 15 minutes to our airport. We got there right when the sun was close to setting. 

Finn was soaking it up…loved watching the planes take off (they seemed so close!) and also loved watching the “trains” (the trams going back and forth).


Although he's not smiling in these pics, the boy was more than thrilled to watch the planes take off and go "up up up!". So thrilled that when it was time to go, there were tears. He just kept yelling “yane! yane!” Needless to say we’ll be visiting again. And it was a completely free, yay!

Love our little family and am thankful for these small but special moments. Maybe a plane themed 2nd birthday party is in our future?

Monday, October 6, 2014


So for the past almost two weeks, our little boy came down with the hand, foot and mouth sickness. It started with a fever and then these sores came on his hands and feet, and a few on his mouth. It's highly contagious. Thankfully the boy only seemed bothered by it all for the first four days, other than that he's been his normal self. But because it's highly contagious to little ones (and some adults even) we've been in quarantine mode.

Otherwise known as house arrest.

But thankfully Florida has had some beautiful weather so our backyard was wonderfully utilized. I realized that I've taken quite a few pics that I haven't without further ado I thought I'd dump them all in one post. :))

So what have we been doing all this time?

Lot's of sweeping and dusting...

Lots of looking out the window...waving at neighbors or the neighborhood cat...

Lots of jetting around in what Rob pretends is a jet ski (an upside down chair)...he's such a genius...

Oh and more looking out the window...

You can start seeing the sores in these pics...but I just especially love these two pics...

A game of "get your feet off of the window" occurred...

Lots of doing dishes with daddy...side note, sharing the water faucet makes doing dishes extra long and messy, but still sweet...

Lots of backyard fun...kicking a ball...

And throwing another ball...

Lots of running and squealing with adorable bouncy cheeks...

Lots of discovering...

Lots of funny poses and expressions that crack Rob and I up...

Lots of good stuff among the not so fun stuff of course...but I have a feeling in 20 years Rob and I will recall mostly the good stuff. Definitely soaking it all up.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Etsy Shop Name and a Sneak Peek

Happy new week everyone! If you've read the past few posts, you know that I'm working toward opening an Etsy shop to sell art prints. Well with the opening of my shop coming soon (I promise, I'm inching my way as fast as I can) I wanted to share the name, logo and a sneak peek of one of the prints. 

So without further ado (I bet you've already looked, I don't blame ya)...

Yes, Circle Circle Tot Tot will be the name of my shop. That beautiful logo was created by Leslie Vega Design. Leslie was a gem to work with and I couldn't be happier with the outcome.

The shop will be aimed toward creating happy prints for nurseries, kid's rooms, or anyone looking to brighten their space. The reason for the delay in opening is that my goal is to have 15 completed prints for the opening. I've been painting just about every night and sketching on down time leaving me just a handful of paintings away from my goal.

As far as how I came up with this name, it didn't come easy. Naming anything never comes easy for me. I remember while Rob and Finn were both napping one Sunday I was sitting in the office just thinking. I really just wanted to be napping, but I knew that I needed to get my head around a name for the shop. Finally after some brainstorming I randomly recalled to a few weeks prior when Rob did the "circle circle dot dot, now I have my cootie shot" on my arm. I have no recollection of the context of that occurrence, lol, but after I recalled that a light bulb went off. And ultimately Circle Circle Tot Tot was formed. I really like the childlike and playful nature it gives.

While creating the art, my other goal has been to create an array of art prints instead of narrowing in on one specific subject. So it's been really fun seeing what comes out of me next. Each piece of art feels different but linked at the same time. So I'll leave you with a peek of one of my newest and favorites. Mr. Moose...

Can't wait to share it all with you soon.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Who's This Toddler?

We've come to realize more and more that Finn is becoming less and less like a baby, and more like a toddler. His tantrums (although adorable) are occurring, but he is still filled with the sweetness that I love about this boy. And even though he is on the go, our home doesn't feel chaotic yet. And maybe this will more so come when there are multiples running around, who knows. But I'm soaking up this time...and this kid...

His personality is hilarious...Rob and I laugh and get shocked frequently by what he comes up with.

It felt like yesterday I was bathing his little tiny body in the sink...and now he's grabbing his own towel and ready to go. They really grow quick...

Hoping you all are well...I'm ready for the first official day of fall to get here so I can bring out a few things and buy a fresh cinnamon broom.

Well, technically I still have our fall pine cones already out from last year. Oh and my Christmas wreath hanging on our door from last year as well. Oh Lisa...

Happy new week!

Monday, September 8, 2014

An Apple A Day

The other day Rob told me he had discovered one of his most favorite things ever.

Sharing an apple with Finn.

He said it’s a combination of how Finn usually sits extra close to Rob on the couch, or how he opens his mouth very wide (only to take the tiniest little bites), or how he says “app! app!” with such enthusiasm.

An apple a day brings the sweetness to bay. 

Or something like that. :))


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