I'll be honest, I've realized my mind has been a little imbalanced towards things lately. When getting home after work, my focus of course goes right to Finn (I can't express how much I miss him when I'm gone) then my mind often shifts to logistical mode.
Dishes, floors, things that need to be fixed, watering the plants that are dying, or more so thinking about watering the plants that are dying, laundry, laundry, laundry (the life of cloth diapering), feeding Finn, what am I going to eat for dinner...
I'm not saying all of this stuff does get done (don't worry, Finn always gets his dinner) but it just causes my brain to be full, and perhaps come down a little snippy, a little naggy and overall a little hard on my Rob. I guess I'm just doing some healthy self-evaluating over here. So here I am, trying to slow down my brain. Trying to take control of the craziness (yet a-gain) and see things a little more clearly and not through a dirty glass.
Funny story for you, although what's funny is that it wasn't funny to me yesterday or the day before...got that? I had to run to the grocery store after work, which is always not fun because what do I want to do immediately after work? Run home and snuggle with that boy. But we needed groceries and I offered to do it. So I get our groceries and get home only about 20 minutes later than I normally would have. I pull up in the driveway, hoping Rob hears my car so he can help. He doesn't. So I pick up all the groceries, open our door and walk in the kitchen and
gently toss the groceries on the counter. To be fair, they were pretty heavy. Rob is sleeping on the couch nearby. (I've mentioned in other posts he doesn't get much sleep these days due to his schedule) Finn was in his crib starting to fuss when I came in, so I run to him and cuddle and kiss that sweet face that I hadn't seen for almost 20 hours (yes, that's how long I don't see him from the time I put him to bed to the time I get home from work) and then I go to the kitchen hoping Rob woke up and started putting the groceries away. Nope, still sleeping. So what do I do? Much to my embarrassment (later), I start putting the groceries away quite loudly. Rob eventually wakes (there's no way he could avoid the noise) and takes the jug of raspberry lemonade I'm fumbling with out of my hand and calls me out on my childishness.
Not my finest moment.
Can you see why I needed a little self-evaluating? Our current situation and schedule is certainly not the easiest nor ideal, and man, sometimes I just want to whine about it. And trust me, I know whining does nothing. So sometimes I just take it out on random moments like bringing home the groceries.
I listen to a man I find to be truly wise in many areas named Dennis Prager on talk radio. I can't express how much wisdom I've gained through his show while listening to it for 5+ years. Although he does talk about politics, he also has a Male/Female hour (discussing various topics regarding relationships, male/female nature and tons more) and he also has a Happiness hour often referring to happiness being a moral obligation and controlling our bad moods and not inflicting it on others. I'm not nearly as eloquent as he is, so here's a 5 minute video from Prager University with his case if you're interested...
Some of the things I get frustrated with really should hold a lot less weight in my brain. That's really what it comes down to. And it's also important to remember all the things there are to be thankful for. Cause really there's a ton. God has blessed my family's life greatly. So this is just me giving myself a friendly reminder.
Have I mentioned that Rob and I have an adorable son named Finn? :)
Love to you all!